“Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
Falling in love has ought to be the most beautiful thing in the world, as everybody says. There’s also the beauty of not being able to explain the happiness you feel when you are with your partner and how much you look forward to each day of hearing your lover’s pleasant voice, feeling their warm embrace and getting all their luscious kisses.
But how would you feel if one day you’ll suddenly wake up and you find yourself bidding goodbye to the physical things that you loved about love?
Distance is probably one of the toughest things to go through in a relationship. Communication in a relationship alone can already get so complicated, what more when you add distance to the equation. It leaves you begging for answers on the endless what ifs and the never-ending questions of “will it work out?”, and no matter how strong you think your relationship is, the distance can always test and worry you. You wouldn’t even be reading this article if it didn’t worry you that much.
You can’t avoid the inevitable and it scares each of us because we simply cannot stand the possibility that it might push us further away from our partner not just physically, but emotionally as well.
The best thing to do about it is just prepare yourself of how it may test your trusting capabilities, your temper, your pride and most of all, your patience because as what everybody says, absence does make the heart go fonder and we sometimes end up taking advantage of our partner in the process. Despite all of these downsides, keep in mind that everything is temporary and everything will be worth it at the end of the finish line as long as both of you are willing to fight the challenge.
Nevertheless, you don’t really have to be discouraged about it because if you two really love each other, it might just become the easiest thing in the world and all the years of longing could just pass by like a bullet. In fact, couples that live far away from each other are sometimes closer than the ones who are together on a daily basis. So cheer up!
First is to make sure that you always have time for each other. It’s quite easy when your partner is just a few hours of plane ride away but when both of you live in a totally different time zone, that’s when things get a little bit complicated. You’ll be fighting through the sleeping schedules, work schedules and not to mention the different energy levels during the time of day. What you can do is learn each other’s schedule, set a time for each other, stick to it and create a routine out of it.
Speaking of making time for each other, make sure to keep a constant and meaningful communication. Thanks to technology, we’re all more connected than ever before so take this as an advantage to talk sincerely about your problems, learn to share your everyday struggles and whatnots, and also respond to theirs. It doesn’t necessarily have to be 24/7, just enough to keep everything going by skipping the normal and useless topics and talking more about future plans together and serious matters about life. Do it through video calls if possible as text messages can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. These things can make your relationship closer. He or she is not only the other person in your relationship, that person is also your bestfriend. You may have lost the physical touch in the situation you’re in, but at least you’re “keeping in touch”.
Speaking of making time for each other, go on cute dates virtually. Watch the same movie at your respective homes and play it at the same time or eat meals together while facing each other on video call or play video games together. You never know how creative you can get with your dates once you embrace the distance!
To make things a little bit exciting and fun, although it may turn out awkward for some, try to talk dirty to each other every once in awhile. You can’t deny that sexual tensions are quite crucial in a relationship so try your best to be intimate with each other despite the distance. Being comfortable in this area of your relationship is undeniably one of the most important things of a strong relationship. It’s honestly a great way to spice things up and keep the fire burning.
If your partner wants to go out and have drinks with a few friends that also involves the opposite sex, don’t entirely restrict your partner. Don’t deprive them of the chance to have fun with friends to de-stress and don’t immediately jump into conclusions. Don’t accuse them on and on about cheating because that’s suffocating for your partner and it will only push them further away. Though it can be the hardest thing in the world to do, you really have to trust them.
On the other end, if you are the one in that situation, respect is another value you should entail. Inform your partner ahead of time if you are going out. If he or she respects your own time, he or she will let you go but once you feel that there’s flirting involved, get out of the scene. If you do otherwise, that can only ruin the trust and communication you have with your partner and it will lead your relationship downhill. Fights on long distance relationships are harder because you can’t easily see your partner the next day to fix it so avoid things that you know will upset your partner.
Always remember that everything is temporary, even the people who want you for a night. Remember what’s true and what’s not, what’s real love and what’s temporary. Respect feelings and emotions and don’t be careless with your actions. As soon as you feel that it’s not right, don’t do it.
Another thing is learning how to respect each other’s growth. You can’t honestly expect that your partner will make you his or her whole world, right? That’s toxic. Learn how to create a room to build each other’s own lives and support each other. If you want to live in the future together, first learn how to live apart.
Surprise your partner every once in awhile. Whether it’s asking a friend for a favor to bring them gifts for you or flying out to actually see them, go ahead and make the effort. Grand gestures like these are also crucial things that fuel a long distance relationship.
The agony of waiting to see, feel and touch someone is so daunting that sometimes it can make you want to give up and just be with someone else. When you think about giving up, take a moment of pause and think about the reason why you held on for so long in the first place. Don’t put all your invested time to waste. Think about love. Think about your partner. Don’t let the distance get the best of you.
LDRs may be the one of the scariest things in the world but nothing compares to the feeling you get after surviving it. Trust me, it tastes sweet like victory.
Learn to embrace the challenge together. At the end of it all, you come out stronger than before and you get to learn the value of patience, trust and the importance of communication. While these may be the factors in the equation of surviving a long distance relationship, it all boils down to one single word; effort.