The Process Of Moving On
Breakups; no matter how big or small, bad or good or no matter what the reason may be, it will always be hard and one way or another, you’ll have to go through the drama and pain of a breakup.
Although everyone hopes for the best in their relationships, unfortunately, we often can’t avoid the inevitable. What hurts more is that you were made to believe that love is the most beautiful thing in the world and suddenly, it became the greatest scam of all. To add to that, when you part ways with someone who used to be your world or someone you invested so much in, they also take with them a part of you and that explains why you suddenly feel a little bit empty inside.
Anyone can agree that the days after the breakup are always the hardest and some days can be so unbearable. Whether you find yourself partying and getting a number of tequila shots in; or alone in your room wallowing in sadness, staring blankly into space and thinking of ways on how to deal with the pain, you have to understand that all of these things are perfectly normal. Another thing you need to understand is that it’s all a process that runs on your own time but just like any relationship, moving on also takes commitment as you slowly pick up the pieces to make yourself whole again.
Find your peace.
First, block him. Although it sounds a bit immature for some, not keeping in contact with your ex or rather blocking them on all your social media accounts might just be one of the healthiest things you could do in moving on. Second, If you have the strength for it, as much as possible, store every gift, every picture or any memory you have of this person and put it away where you can’t see it. Last but not the least, avoid any event where you might bump into your ex. By doing all these, you are actually giving yourself time to heal in the sense that in no way you are reminded of anything that is painful to you.
Allow yourself to breakdown when it hits you.
It won’t always be about strength once you start the moving on process. There will always be the out-of-nowhere outbursts even in the most inappropriate places and moments where you also cry yourself to sleep. That’s okay, your feelings are valid. One day, you’ll be surprised that you’ll no longer have tears to cry and that’s certainly a good sign. That’s where the value of acceptance starts.
Find people who will stay by your side.
No matter how strong you are, going through breakups can sometimes put you in your lowest state, making you feel like you are worthless even when it shouldn’t be that way. Times like this it’s best to have great companions by your side. Believe it or not, these are the kind of people who will be your own healing presence. Although they themselves know that they can’t easily fix you, they’ll at least hold your hand while you fix yourself. When all of this is finish, you might just end up laughing about it someday for putting in so much sadness for the one person that didn’t deserve you.
Listen to music.
One of the most universally relatable thing in this world is a heartbreak and when you hear words that best fit your situation, it makes you feel that you aren’t alone after all and there are tons of people listening to these songs who also went through this rough path. From there, you begin to think of these people as an inspiration in your process of moving on.
Pay a visit to the beauty parlor and get a makeover, get a massage, go shopping or get a gym membership and finally work on that summer bod that you’ve always dreamed of. When you’re in a relationship, it’s possible that you really don’t have the time to do these things because about 80% of your time is dedicated to your partner but now that you have all the time in the world, instead of staying in bed and staring blankly into space, go work on yourself.
Find your passion.
Speaking of finally being available, go start your own passion. Whether it’s dancing, painting, baking or any sport, these hobbies can turn into your passion and can actually be considered as your escape. Let yourself be proud of even the littlest things and make it as your motivation to keep doing better in this process. Other than that, being at your busiest state also makes you think less of painful thoughts and having your own passion can also make you love yourself even more!
Finally do the things you couldn’t do alone before.
Finding your passion is one thing, but trying to do things you once depended on with someone else is another. Although this isn’t really common for people who are trying to move on, it’s still worth a try to help with the process. Try watching a movie alone at the cinemas or eat at a restaurant alone or perhaps travel to another country alone. You’ll never know what you might discover about yourself once you try it out.
Amidst all of that, self-love is the most important value you need to have during the process because in this life, every broken moment can sometimes leave a wound in a person’s soul and one thing you should learn is that these battle scars earned in the struggles against the unfairness of life, are struggles we should always determine to win against whether it’s a break-up or some other struggle.
For some, it may take as little as 2 – 3 months before they can easily get over a breakup but for the unlucky ones, it may take as long as 1 – 2 years. But the good thing? At the end of it all, you find yourself and more importantly, you find yourself becoming stronger than you ever were and you begin to think that love is again the most beautiful thing in the world as you prepare yourself to fall in love with someone new and better. Just trust the process.