Why dating is in, and relationships are out
In this day and age, it’s very challenging to commit to your life goals without tumbling around here and there by sacrificing your life’s planned objectives because of relationship-related car-crash drive-bys that send your well-prepared plans over the edge of a cliff. It’s not a new story for career women to find themselves plateauing with their careers when they decide to be in a relationship, that leads to marriage, children, and the involuntary mix-up that it causes your goals as an individual to be put at risk.
Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship can also be a necessary driving force that keeps you moving forward, but it cannot be denied that relationships are riskier now that the stakes are higher when it comes to careers that we have today. Mortgage prices aren’t getting any lower, energy prices are steadily on the rise, but you, on the other hand, seem to not be growing your paycheck at the same pace.
Admirably, career women don’t just have to fight the stigma of being single in their late thirties, but they also fight against the ‘glass ceiling’ of the workforce making it harder for them to commit to a relationship, let alone risking a long-term one and getting the short end of the stick. Though we long for the good times in a relationship, a shoulder to cry on or a voice that cheers you on, the potential drawbacks such as letting go of individual freedoms and putting your career in jeopardy might be too high a risk to take.
Single and struggling to mingle
Being a bachelorette or recently single past your late twenties can be a complicated issue. You could be having an unruly streak of unfortunately short relationships, or you’ve just gotten out of one that you have literally invested years in, or you’re just not the type to date. Whichever the case, we all know that relationships have their ups and downs, but the comfort of having a partner to share moments with is something that we all long for.
Thankfully enough, the dating scene has expanded way beyond just being referred to by a friend of a friend. Meeting a partner no longer takes the hassle of blind dates or the awkward transition from a few shots at the club to a cup of coffee in the morning. With the continuous advancement of the rise of social media and the development of efficient dating apps, connecting to other people is that much easier and convenient.
Tinder and Bumble offer intimate spaces for speed dating by having a simple method of connecting people looking to find a partner within close proximities. Apps like Grindr, on the other hand, offer spaces to connect LGBT people to find a safe area to seek people of the same sexuality. Though studies on the duration of relationships built on dating apps from back when dating sites were a thing show an iffy hit-or-miss rate, it’s still a compelling platform that enables the most unlikely groups of people to get to know individuals from outside their social sphere whether from another city to another country.
Going beyond your comfort zone
If you’ve ever tried using Tinder and other similar dating apps, then you might find yourself growing disinterested with the options available. It might be due to the repetitive and familiar sets of pick-up lines with the same cadence and delivery, or you’ve just grown tired of making a relationship work right after a first date; this phase of monotony could give you a chance at looking at dating through another perspective or another demographic.
Many people feel there is something off about interracial relationships but in fact, it’s relatively common. Much of it could probably be attributed to how ‘opposites attract,’ but the more evident reality is that it’s rooted in getting to know connected cultures.
Europeans like me are raised differently compared to other nationalities when it comes to understanding courtship. Our perspective of dating isn’t rooted in getting laid or seeking personal validation, as we tend to be more casual when it comes to dealing with dates since we are not preoccupied in figuring out the long term.
Though it’s not to say that we don’t see a future in people we date, but we do however find greater comfort in putting off the unnecessary niceties of relationships such as labels, splitting bills, or defining the relationship. We come from a culture where we are raised to understand relationships as simple as wanting to go out with someone we enjoy being around with. No labels. No pressure. No expectations. Living in the moment and seeing where things move on from there is where we find our comfort zone.
Unlike other countries, Europeans have an extensive understanding of sexual education which means that we have a higher respect for the opposite sex and the relationships that we build with them. Institutions in Netherland have a comprehensive curriculum with sex ed starting in their primary education. Compared to other people who’ve just learned it from a one session course, you’ll be glad to know that we know our stuff.
Does this mean that the only way you’ll find a ‘happily ever after’ is in finding a European? Well, that’s a yes and a no. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, then it can be anyone at all as long as it’s someone that you’re comfortable with and have a great connection to. But if you’re looking for the comfort of being someone’s companion without the pressures of knowing where it could lead, then maybe someone like me could be your best bet.
Dating Europeans are exactly the perfect blend of casual and comfort that you’ve been longing for in your relationships — all the benefits of being in a commitment without the expectations and anxiety of one.
The best perk that you get with casually dating is that you aren’t forced to worry about what’s to come. First dates usually turn into a job interview of sorts where the two parties gauge every moment so that they can identify if a second date will happen or a third, or a fourth, or never at all. The intense pressure of having all these variables of getting to know likes, dislikes, hobbies, and even sexual preferences, make dates feel more like an examination instead of a casual event.